To work with passion!

 

Well, at least I'm not that so unmotivated, unfocused, lost girl these past couple of weeks anymore.  Yebah!

I hate this inefficiency!

 

I love my job, but I'm being unproductive, inefficient, undisciplined.  I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting precious time to do something worthwhile.

 

Time for a change.

What really is the right job for me?

 

I hated my first job. Yet I worked so hard then to do it very well and to meet impossible deadlines.

 

Second job: just okay.  I couldn't handle the work physically.  The actual work is easy.  Yet, I had a hard time doing it right because I was always tired.  Morale was low.

Now, I love my job.  Yet I can't seem to do it right.  I feel incapable of doing it right.

 

Shoot. ...for the stars...

 

Whatever.

 

Rantings.

Why?

Why has there been usually a misfit between me and my job?

I like my work now. I really do. It seems ideal (except on job security and benefits, but still I like it).

However, I don't seem to be the right person doing this job. I'm not being productive. I'm not being efficient. I feel like I'm wasting the time of my employer and teammates. I hate that.

Being inefficient, I want to quit so they can find a better replacement. Besides, what I want right now is to enter graduate school. Yet, I can't do that until June next year. Then I have to earn. So it seems to be that I'll be doing this work for another seven months. Or six. I don't think I can quit and look for another work then quit again for my masters study in a span of seven months, or six.

Anyway, I think I have to tell myself:

Kate, you have to be productive! Go, go, go! You love your job, right?

Meetings can be taxing.

 

On my first job, I used to like attending meetings.  I enjoyed meeting people, hearing each one speak, seeing some listen, and the others doing their own thing.  Then not long after, I have slowly started disliking it.  Now on my third job after two years from graduation, I have come not to like it.

 

I have just arrived in my workplace from a meeting - a very long meeting.  Imagine being in the same room with four smart and assertive men for four hours.  Thankfully there were other two ladies in the meeting, who sort of made me a little more comfortable.

 

For the most part, I simply listened.  I talked a bit, more than my usual self during previous meetings where I very rarely let them hear my voice.

 

In that meeting, I again found myself asking if this was really the kind of work that I want.  Or if this was really the kind of work that best suits me.  But then, I had to place myself in the actual situation where the team was finalizing the presentation and bill due for quite a time already.  And after that, I had to place substance to that material.  So there went my question again - "Can I do this, or do I want this?"

 

Oh, meetings.

The surrounding vibe and atmosphere of a workplace is really important to the productivity of an employee, including its corresponding stress level.

 

Again, I've been more productive outside of my office in a span of two hours than working here in this air-conditioned room in a span of two (or more) days.

 

Bad for me (and my work), I'm cramming in order to meet my self-imposed deadline to pass some FAQ's for what the team is doing.  It's stressful, though still a good and manageable level of stress.

 

Good for me, I'm not involved in the office politics brewing in this office. I get to see it but I try not to get involved in it.

 

When I first arrived here, I felt the vibe was great - not so stressful, relaxed, friendly.  I thought that was good.

 

It's true that the atmosphere's relaxed and not so stressful.  However, that case hasn't been always good for me.  Sometimes, I tend to simply enjoy and relax being in front of the computer surfing and writing work nrelated stuff, just like what I'm doing right now.

 

Yet, it isn't always true that this place sees friendliness in every corner.  As in other companies and as I've mentioned earlier, there's office politics.  This politics doesn't necessarily translate to people not doing their jobs.  But based on experience and my observation, that politics limits productivity, destroys the team, and ultimately the best potential of their works, products, services, or whatever output is not met.

 

That's it for now.  Just wanted to say the atmosphere, the environment, and the vibe of the workplace gives a great impact on the kind of work one gives.  Office politics dampens productiviy, but being relaxed and friendly is not always so good.

Now, Am I Lost?

I don't think I am lost. I believe I'm on the right track.

However, now that I've found some focus and clear direction in my
work, I don't know how to proceed. I know what to do, strategies have
been set, a detailed list of research work and data needed are laid
out, and I have been told of the due date.

The problem now is that I don't know how to start doing my job.
Again, I feel overwhelmed. I am doing this on my own, though with the
help of the rest of the team. Still, I'm almost on my own on
gathering back up data. They'll rely on me on that aspect.

I feel some pressure. Yet, I like it. I like some kind of
responsibility. For now, it's just that I have to clear my mind of
some anxiety. Hopefully, I can do my work with ease.

I don't want anxiety. I don't want stress. I believe I can work
without being subjected to unnecessary stress. I think anybody can.
The key thing is being committed to one's work. That is difficult
though. To be really committed entails passion for what I or anybody
else is doing. With that passion, working can be delightful even with
loads tasks and upcoming deadlines.

I am fortunate to have a work I like now. I love what I'm doing.
Though I'm still a baby in this kind of world, I am loving it. Being
so new in this field gives me anxiety, but with passion and
commitment, I'll overcome that.

Good luck to me and to all jobseekers and workers out there. God
bless that we all have a work we'll all love. I prayed for this one.
I got it. To continue enjoying it, though, I still have to work hard.
(",)

I am reading an article about land laws.  There's this section about land use, which is what I'm currently trying to understand right now, together with land classification.  I believe that I should also understand land use if I am to understand land classification in the country.

 

But it's just so BORING!

 

Reading an article written by lawyers can be difficult, with all the technical and not-so-ordinary words they use.  Still, I can finish reading it and even understanding it provided it's EXCITING.  Load it with lots of facts and history in a narrative manner dooms it.  Simply re-phrasing a law into something an ordinary citizen can easily understand does not ensure such article to be appreciated.

 

I have to admit thought that being "exciting" is definitely subjective.  And that being "exciting" is also difficult.

 

I just wish all things I have to read are exciting to my senses.  So maybe, I have to read that (boring) position paper some time when I'm not yet sleepy and my mind's still fresh.

 

That's one of the reasons why I know I wouldn't survive law. ;)

It's Monday and I'm moving so slow again.  I arrived here in office at 9:00 a.m. One hour and twenty minutes later, I have sent only two e-mails.

 

My priority to-do today are:

1. Expand the e-group members.
2. Send one group forum discussion.

That's it.  Yey!

 

(",)

 

Two minutes before 11:00 a.m., or one hour and 58 minutes after I reported for work - at least three more priority e-mails to send.

 

(",)

 

I've sent all the e-mails I had to send.  But I feel I underperformed this day.  After lunch, I think I moved even slower.

 

Have a great and jolly day tomorrow! :)

I work in an office where I do not belong.  It's not that I don't like where I work, or that the people there don't like me.  It's simply a fact: I am in no way affiliated with the work place where I hold office - except that my boss owns that company.

 

I work for another institution where my boss is a consultant.  It's an advocacy thing.  My role is to act as a sort of research assistant.  "Sort of" because it's not all about research.

 

That work - the advocacy work - is a project of the institution hired me, which in turn is funded by another organization.  In the contract, there was really no stipulation that I have to report for work five times a week, eight hours a day.  The important thing is that I get my work done.

 

Therefore, I am quite reluctant to report at nine in the morning.  Not really reluctant, though.  I just sometimes think that being in the office at nine is almost not relevant.  Same with leaving the office at six.  The amenities or benefits I have in the office are the Internet use, the air-conditioned room, the chance to chat with my boss from time to time, and some socializing.  Besides, I can understand the stuff I read better when I am at home or away form that office set up.

 

However, I have to go by the reporting five times a week.  And since I am holding office in that company, I have to somehow abide by their rules and policies.  Son, it's HR will release a memo on punctuality.  I have to be punctual.  Anyway, I have always wanted to be punctual.

 

It's already 9:30 in the morning and yet I'm still two to three blocks away from the office.  Near but so far because of the heavy traffic.  So much for punctuality.

 

By the way. given the statements I have above, I have to clarify tat I have always had problems with punctuality and tardiness.  I hate being late, I don't want to wait for people who are late, but I also tend to be late.

 

Discipline and good time management are what I need.  Be punctual.

Organizing Meeting: People Relations

Earlier today, we had a forum on the subject of the advocacy that my group is pushing. We (the team) organized that forum, with me in charge of the invitation.

I sent out at least 52 invitations. Maybe a very few were not successfully sent. Since I was not patient calling them to follow-up their representatives, I did not get a good estimate of the participants.

Last month, the organizational meeting for that forum was set up. Only five confirmed their attendance, but thrice that number showed up.

This day, while the number of invitees were doubled compared to last month, attendance was poor with even less than the previous meeting. I'm not sure if it's because of the bad weather yesterday. Some in the group actually believe it was because of the weather. Besides, the forum was organized by a group carrying the name of a school. Classes were suspended, so that may be just another factor for the poor attendance.

Anyway, another meeting, another set of lessons learned:

1. Send out teasers or information about the activity way ahead of the formal invitations, even if the venue and some not so vital details are not yet final.
2. Create a hard copy of the directory/contacts for easier communication and tracking of correspondence.
3. Always have a calling card and two extra pens ready.
4. Wear a more comfortable clothing. Or be better pretending that I am comfortable with my clothes.

Self-rating on organizing a forum, specifically on sending out invitations and forum attendance: 2.5. (I am using the grading system of my beloved university -- 1 being the highest, 3 passing, and 5 a failing grade.)

The Rainy Season

This week has started with a gloomy mood. It's raining! And I feel sleepy and lazy. The dim weather makes me just wanna sit down and enjoy a bowl of fruits. Something to cheer me up! Yey :)

I did not eat a bowl of fruits, though, nor did I just sit around and enjoy the rainy season breeze. I am here sitting in front of the computer and very slowly doing some work that needs to be done. Still catching up. I hope that very soon, I'll already be well-versed with my work.

I remember that the kind of work I'm doing right now used to be the kind of work that I sort of wanted. So how am I now? Okay. Fine. I still do not feel that I am at my best. Struggling in my own field. But starting to love what I'm doing. I am simply longing for something else to do.

It's rainy season, and during this time of the year I get to feel gloomy easily. I'll find a way to make it rock! Yebah! :)

2007.05.25 Whew

It has again been quite a "whirlwind" application process.  I got an interview for a marketing position then offered a job as a research assistant on the same day.  Some dream come true.  Finally, I'm headed toward the real long-term goal I have in my heart and mind.

I am really grateful to the person who hired me.  Really really thankful.  I'm not sure what he saw in me, my resume or my work experience.  Maybe he felt bad for me with my current job.  Maybe he saw a glimmer of hope and passion in my eyes.  Or maybe he saw a lost person whom he wanted to help out.

I can only speculate with all those "maybe's."  What I am sure of is that I will do my best, learn, and always aim for a higher level of excellence.  This is going to be my third job, and even though this one's contractual, I am definitely excited about it.  Now I know what it feels like to accept a work in line with my ideals.

At work, I am feeling happy.  Not simply happy because I'll be leaving current company, but more happy because I'll be doing something that I like (even if it's really something new to me.)  Before I end this post, I just want to thank the Lord for this blessing.  A big thanks! :)

2007.05.13 LIFE --- MY CAREER AND DREAMS: A Year Later

(Please click here for the previous post on "LIFE --- MY CAREER AND DREAMS")

It has been six months now since I started working for a pseudo-multinational company.  The name sounds multinational but it doesn’t feel like working in a multinational company except that the brand and company name I work with are “multinational”.  Plus the standards set are “multinational”.  But the environment isn’t.

That’s the first comparison with my previous and my current job.

I know it is not right to compare but I just want to contemplate on where I am right now in my career.

Then, I saw bosses clash that added thrill to the job.  Now, I seldom see that.  Part of it is because I am not working in a dynamic and multinational setting – I am isolated from most of my workmates.  What I often see or hear now are employees of the real multinational company behaving as if they are stockholders of my and their company demanding to be treated as VIP’s.  To make things clear, my work has so much to do with giving service.  Anyway, I strongly believe that those employees wanting to be treated as VIP’s should have a change of perspective especially when there are other customers around.  They should not say “taga-name of company” and demand special attention while other customers came first, or something to that effect.  Moreover, what I particularly do not like and have experienced first-hand is when employees of the real multinational company visits the store and do their thing without first consulting the officer-in-charge of the store.  They are not really my bosses.  In fact, I disagree with what my immediate supervisor said referring to an e-mail I mistakenly sent to those people, “Mga big boss yang mga yan, di natin dapat ginagambala ng ganyang e-mail.”  Yeah, duh, so much for employee empowerment.  To truly succeed, they must consider us “partners” in business, and vice versa.  They may be the ones who decide on what must go on with the store, but hey, umph!

That was whining two months ago.

Now, I’m almost into my eighth month with the company.  I’m not whining because of other people anymore.  There are exceptions (maybe many exceptions, in fact) to the situation I described above.

I do not keep track of the number of times I cried over my job.  One time was when I couldn’t go home because I did not want to take a jeep and there were no taxi in the vicinity.  It was anyway difficult as well to ride the jeep because of the time of the night.  Another time was when I did not know what to do with one VIP customer and nobody in that shift knew what to do so I broke down and cried a little bit after the incident.  I also cried (and really cried) over a holiday I had to spend working while 99% of Filipinos went on vacation and my high school friends went to the beach without me despite the fact that I was the one who really wanted it to push through.  Countless times I cried because I miss home, or I wanted to do some weekend getaway but definitely couldn’t, or I was feeling low and tired, or I was feeling pathetic, or I was clamoring for something else but couldn’t really figure out what that something else was.  Now I’m crying again.  As much as I remember, I only cried once with my previous job – a day before my last day with the company and I could even attribute those tears shed to hormonal changes aside from stress.

Yet, I won’t say that my previous work was better than this one.  With my first company, I wanted to quit as early as my first month there.  At least with my current company, I had many months of not disliking waking up to go to work.  I just hate the schedule.

I hated the schedule and the six-day workweek.  I still do.  Now, however, I also hate the direction I’m taking.  I actually couldn’t see myself working for this same company three years from now.  Not even two.  Working as an employee and working almost like a slave for any other company is as well out of the picture for my future.  I tend to become a workaholic, therefore the term slave especially if I wouldn’t love my job.

How would I love my job?  What work would I end up loving?  What?  How?

Shit.  Where am I and where am I going?  Who am I?  Those are very difficult questions.

2007.05.08 Dreams... Vacation...

I have this dream to do something for the society.  In particular, I want to give some (or a lot) of my time and energy for environmental protection and a more efficient natural resource management, as well as improve the status of education in our country.

At the same time, I also want to earn a lot of money so I can travel the Philippines and travel the world.  Yeeha!

I definitely need a break to think about my life and priorities.  From my conversations with my father, I knew that I'm not an ordinary girl who would want to achieve what has become commonly regarded as standards of success.  Now I'm wondering, why am I still working for my current employer?  I like the learning experience.

I really need a vacation, a time to relax, and a time to think for myself.  I need to clear my mind and set things straight.  I want to do a lot of things right now.  I need a break! Really! Help!

2007.04.28 Contentment

Career contentment is really elusive.  For me.  Two years after graduation, I am still far from achieving contentment with the career path I've taken.

I need some soul searching.  Is it because the job I've taken is not meant for me?  Or is it just because I am too picky with work?  Or simply that I do not want to work?

Think... Think... Think...

Or is better to: Feel... Feel... Feel...

When I was in high school, I dreamed of becoming a certified public accountant.  That was easy to say.  However, I didn't qualify for the accountancy program in UP.  So I enrolled in a non-quota course - B.S. Mathematics, thinking (wrongly) that I have a love and love relationship with math.

Early on, I realized I wasn't suited for mathematics.  I decided to shift to the School of Economics.  I wanted to learn why the country's so poor despite having rich resources - human and natural.

I enjoyed my college life as a business economics major.  Occassionally, I would wish I was an engineering student.  Though I knew and know what I wanted was only to be an engineering student but not to practice that profession.

Nearing graduation, there seemed to be lots of options to choose from.  I wanted to be in finance, but somehow I indicated in my resume that marketing was the field I wanted.  I ended up being part of a support team for the sales force of one big company.  Now, I'm in operations.  And searching for something else.

During my third year in college, I felt a desire to teach.  It was unfortunately shot down by one uninspiring professor who doubted my intent since it was not a childhood dream.  She narrated that she knew she wanted to teach way back as a very young child.  Sometimes I think she has lots of insecurities despite trying to project a secure image.

There was also a desire to be my own boss.  Back when?  This I am not sure of.  I recall a conversation with one of my friends back in college that I wanted to put up my own business.  Maybe the desire was there ever since.  Or when I realized that I wanted to take a great control of my life and schedule.

Working for a big company (or even a small one) is something less risky plus a stable source of income.  Working for myself is something more risky but with more opportunities and more possibilities.  Teaching is something that inspires me as I inspire other people.

Think... Think... Think...

Feel... Feel... Feel...

Am I simply too difficult to satisfy or am I in the wrong path?  Or just on a detour?

I need a vacation.

2007.01.21 Discontentment

As always?

When will I ever find my job fulfilling?  When will I be happy in my work?  When will I think that I am in the right career path?

Am I forever dissatisfied?

Do I just need a change of perspective, or am I really in the wrong job and company?

I'm not stressed with work, just tired.  Duh.

2006.11.14 The CORE Cleaning Training

I'm not sure if I sounded tired of my job with my last post.  Anyway, I'm liking it.  I like the challenge, and at least I'm not contemplating of resigning from my work except if I wouldn't be able to cope with my schedule.

Earlier was my training on the proper cleaning of sites.  I thought it would be another kind of training, mistaking that the said training on cleaning was scheduled for tomorrow.  I was wrong.

Due to the my mistake of mixing up the schedule, I wore a brown, knee length skirt that balloons with the wind and a white blouse that has a rather bare neckline and some sequins for design (I don't know how to call these types of clothings).  As I signed up the attendance sheet, I was shocked to see what was in store for the day.  I even reserved my jeans for tomorrow since the cleaning training would involve a hands-on and actual cleaning of the site!

I was lucky though that the hands-on part only involved a bit of wiping a clean surface, cleaning a clean chiller door, and mopping a clean floor.  So I looked like a maarte lady doing those things, with a protective vest to complete the maarte look.

I wasn't really maarte, anyway.  I just looked like one (I thought) since I was in a skirt while my co-trainees were in pants.  I even was the first to volunteer to do the "cleaning" when they asked for one.  It was fun and an enriching experience.  It definitely would help me manage my site.

Now, I have officially earned the right to demand from my team to keep the site superiorly clean.  Yey! =)

2006.11.11 Work and work and work...

I thought a 2:00 - 11:00 p.m. schedule would be fine.  I compared it to going to work extremely late and doing overtime.  I forgot to take into consideration that overtime work is exhausting, even if I would report to work so late.

I have been with my current job for almost two months already.  For the first month, I had my training, which meant for me reporting to work with the regular 8-5 schedule.  Then suddenly I was transferred to my site as its new supervisor.  I had to take responsibility for my site.

Judging work from my training station, I found it generally easy compared to my previous job.  Transferring to my own site, I was shocked to find tons of work that needed to be done.  It felt like I lost time to focus on operations.  Admin work ate up most of my nine hours in the station.  Then, not every employee is easy to work with.

It seemed I had high expectations when I got to my own site.  I thought I would get to work with my staff easily.  Yet, it was not easy to influence each of them to aim for excellence.  Some just appeared to work so good, yet behind my back (and my manager's), they perform in a quite sub-standard manner.

I am nice with my people.  I smile so often that they seem to interpret it such that they can get away with inferior work.  Now, I'm pissed with their work attitude.  Maybe I was wrong not to display anger when my bracelet almost got stolen (conscience sunk in).  Yes, I was wrong.  I shouldn't have been so kind and forgiving that time.  They think I'm that very patient, forgiving, understanding and mellow boss.

It is really a challenge to handle people.  I didn't want to regularly scold them of the kind of work they do.  Regularly -- that's how often they do the kind of work I disapprove of.

Good luck to me.  The schedule and the underperforming people -- the two things that get me stressed (almost stressed anyway, I still have my sanity intact) these days.  Smile.  =)

2006.10.04 The New Job

Boring, yet exciting.

Not so intellectually challenging, yet still challenging enough to gain experience and develop myself.

2006.09.08 The Job Offer

Just this week, I received a job offer.  It was a written offer, and I signed it.  Even if I was still waiting for another position of another company.  I signed it after I was told that it was different from the job contract.

Then hours after, I was doubtful of what I did.  I was not sure if I really wanted that job.  It would give a really good training and learning.  I would learn something similar to managing a small (or even a larger) business unit.  Yet, I was not sure if I was ready for an unusual work shift, 1-10 or 2-11 p.m.  I am not an early morning person, but with that schedule I might not get the rest I need.

I was quite excited about the job, but I was also looking forward to learning more about the other job.  Employment would not be final until I have completed their requirements anyway.  Oh well, I hope to make a sane decision by Monday.  Good luck.

2006.08.06 Financial Security

For my interview last Friday, I researched a bit about the company I was applying to.  Learning more about it, I got to like the job and seriously consider accepting it if they would offer it to me.  Until I had the interview.

The starting salary would be 33% less than what I received from my previous job.  That would be net of benefits and taxes.  However in this case, there would be a P50.00 COLA everyday.  Still, that was way below my expected salary.  I would have more responsibility and more involvement in the company I would belong to, but the salary would be less.

I was asked in what field I was interested in joining.  In line with my objective written in my resume, I said marketing or business development.  Prior to that, the company was considering me for a position in the sales department.  Probably they were quite impressed with me that they then offered me a position in their marketing team, even if they knew (and I knew as well) that an experience in sales would be a great training before becoming an effective marketing person.  Still, I was thinking of the quite low salary.

To try my luck in the private corporate world was a decision brought by my financial status and goal.  I know I can't forever depend on my family or on somebody else to pay for what I need or want.  Even if they would be able to afford giving me the life I need or want, my pride would not let me stay idle for the rest of my life.  I have already experienced earning myself and I know how good it is to spend money I worked for.

If I wouldn't be needing lots of money to keep a healthy life, I would have already tried applying for the government.  Then, I would be stressed physically, emotionally and socially since I would greatly involve myself in issues concerning the department I would be in.  I have a passion to serve the society and the people, which would serve as my driving force aside from earning money to work more.  Stress plus little money.  Fulfillment would not be a guarantee depending on the department I am in, the political chaos in it, and the leadership of whoever's on top.

Or I would be teaching.  To be able to teach, I have to earn a master's degree or get education units.  Spend more plus a dedication to learn a higher degree of learning.  I am not yet ready for a master's degree, but extra education units would be fine.  This option is more realistic.  So anyone shouldn't be surprised to learn that I would be teaching somewhere, no matter how shy, childish, or weak you think of me.  Let me remind you that I am not weak.

Anyway, financial security is now an important criterion for me in looking for my next job.  Maybe because I am getting old (I hate to write that, but hey I'm already 22 and I have just started thinking about saving for whatever purpose it may serve.)  At one point in anyone's life, he or she should learn to be practical in something.  It doesn't mean one has to forget the carefree attitude making him or her feeling so free.  It is  taking responsibility on his or her life.  Financial security, I guess is just one of the many aspects we have to think about.  It is not investing in stocks or acquiring huge sums of money, but making sure that one's lifestyle is appropriate or sustainable given his or her earning capabilities.

Having a lower standard of living than the lifestyle one has been accustomed to is extremely difficult.  It is natural for people to aspire a higher standard of living, clamoring for a more comfortable life and simply improve or get better.  It is easier to take a difficult job to keep one's current lifestyle than to keep an easy job and suffer from a less comfortable life.  This not only applies to people from the A or B or upper C social class, but for the others as well, right?  Just think about it in relative terms.

That's the reason that I would accept a rather difficult job that pays me really well.  I just have to make sure that the difficulty involved would mean challenging me intellectually, which is what makes me get excited.

Oh, the life the with more responsibility.  I don't have to make it complicated.

2006.08.03 The Job Hunt Begins

Finally, I've started sending my resume.  For this week, one company responded.  I already had the initial interview and the exam.  I was asked to have the final interview tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.  Feeling tired from all the train, jeep, and bus rides, I asked if it was possible to have it in the afternoon.  What a lousy job hunter.

I am not sure if I would like the position I am currently applying for.  It sounds like a really encompassing training for the real estate industry and a great opportunity for me to meet more people, yet I am not sure if I really want it.  For this position, I would be responsible to receive calls even in the middle of the night, wake up so early in the morning, travel on weekends (this part is okay anyway), a regular office schedule of 9 to 7 (10 hours!), deal with the sales people, and work really work just work.

Still, I would go for the interview tomorrow.  I had it re-scheduled to 1:00 in the afternoon.  What a demanding job hunter.

Maybe I am not yet ready for a real work responsibility again.  I do not want to get myself so tired from work.  Yet, I do not want to be forever dependent on somebody else.  Or maybe I am looking for work at the wrong place.

Time to re-assess my job hunt strategy. As employers are very careful in choosing their next employees, I will also take great caution in choosing the company I will consider as my next employer.  Besides, it would give both employee-seekers and job-seekers as me greater efficiency, less time lost, and less headache.

I'm still tired.  I had to go to Manila again tomorrow, while I had just arrived here in Zambales.

What a lousy piece of writing.  Hihihi.

Kampay! Para sa isang matiwasay na buhay!

2006.07.24 Career Objective

Last night I had a little chat with my friend.  Of course, one of the main topics was CAREER.  I am not sure of what job I'll have next, so is he.  Hey, I'm not alone in this cruel world of aspiring to have a great career.

I am not confident in deciding what step to take next.  I know some things that I want to do, and some things that I will definitely (or not) refrain from doing.  It is like I am lost in this area of my life.  Yet according to my friend, malalim ako.

Maybe, but I am not sure of what exactly to do next.  Maybe I lack the drive.  Or more importantly, a definite direction.  I do not even have a career objective!  I am not sure of it.

I am not thinking of a career objective for the sake of completing my resume or presenting one that is impressing because it wisely written.  I want to make sure of my career objective to direct me to a clear path to reach that goal.  I want one so that I will not anymore torture myself to a job I do not like and which I find no growth.

I definitely look like one lost soul.  Even if I am aware of the basic things that I want.  The problem is that I want many things, I want to do various activities, I want to achieve ambitious goals.  How to effectively reach them, that I am not sure of.  I do not know what steps to take.  I do not have a specific objective that is strategically aimed at meeting my big ambition(s).  Or maybe that big ambition is good enough however general it may seem.  However, it is really quite big and ambitious.

Good luck!

2006.07.18 But Now It's About the Money

Reading my previouse post, I saw a Kate who was ideal and passionate. I sounded like I was very determined to do something for my society right away. It was like, "I am going to take a career directly related to my cause, my beliefs, my dreams, my ideals."

Yet now, it seems like I'm taking another path.

It ultimately struck me during a recent visit to the doctor that I undeniably need lots of money to survive. I am not really an average type of person, but someone who needs a regular check-up with a specialist. Hence, lots of money to sustain that expensive routine.

I am certain I could have lived decently even without receiving more than P20,000.00, which is the minimum (extreme minimum) I dream of receiving each month. With this comes the condition that I would not be around people receiving more than P20,000.00 per month. It just gets really costly living with them. I end up aspiring and living a more comfortable and expensive lifestyle. While if I were mingling with people on a budget, I get back to my senses to spend less and save. But, the extremest minimum should be P12,000.00.

So now, I want to have a career that gives me fulfillment and rewards me with a substantial amount of money. Money, money, money. Oh, does money make the world go round? No. I stil believe in serving others, compassion, kindness, and LOVE.

Yeeha! The latter's my idealism and the former's my <*sigh*> practical side.

While previously I listed environment, teaching, tourism, inspiration, and big time as the key words from which I'll set my goals, the list drastically changes to:

• Private corporation that's a good employer



• Nice salary



• Adequate time for other activities



• Part-time for NGO



• Or part-time for teaching



• Or both

Wherein "other activities" may include:

• Photography



• Foreign language



• Travel



• Second degree education

Does it make sense? Is it realistic? Can I do it?

Anyone who might chance upon this blog, please WRITE A COMMENT! Hihi.

For the meantime, I'll think about my goals and what to do next (for the nth time?).

=)

First posted on 07132006@1729

2006.07.18 How Can I Earn Money?

More than a month after quitting work, I am enjoying the stress-free life but hating the idleness. Plus, each day and each want comes the reality that I have to earn to support myself, my future, and my family. Besides, I am a lady with much pride and ambition. Yet, I can't get myself to get up early and do something more productive! Maybe I do not have that much pride and ambition to bring me enough determination.

After having a stressful job I did not want, I resolved that I would now take only the jobs in line with the career I want. I think I would not get that stressed if my work was something I like. What do I like?

Uhm.. I like a lot of things! I like to do a lot of things!

• Protect the environment



• Teach and be a good influence to others



• Inspire other people



• Travel



• Promote Philippine tourism



• Make so much money in a few deals



• Be a boss

Wow, I think the list has narrowed down. The three words to sum up the above list are:

• Environment



• Teaching



• Tourism

And a few others:

• Inspiration



• Big time

I like to think that I am improving. I'll give myself a few more days to finally set a goal. A real one, at least. I've set so many goals before, but I am not able to keep up. Oh, what a lazy person I am! Wake up!

Go Kate! Show the world how great you are!

First posted on 06272006@1532

2006.07.18 Still a Bum

I planned to use productively my many free days after resigning from work. However, I'm still a bum, doing almost nothing, watching the television most of the time, surfing the Internet and writing here sometimes. Well, you might notice that prior to working, I was an unproductive bum.

Something in my life made me restrict my activities to that being not stressful or tiring or heavy duty. Yet I know I could do better than sit, rather lie down watching TV. Sometimes I play with my little sisters though. And eat.

What were my plans before taking the plunge to go unemployed? I planned to:

• Read a really nice books with topics relating to the environment and natural resource, travel and tourism, and the Philippines



• Go to SBMA and find out job opportunities there



• Join an NGO and be active



• Clean up my room

What have I done?

• Buy an enriching book about the Philippine forest policy and politics



• Dream about a good job near home



• Sign up for an NGO but never paid for the fee (so I'm not yet officially a member of that org, and now that I'm already 22 I would pay almost double on what I could have a couple of weeks ago)



• Dream about a nice room while watching some nice shows on the television (cable and local channels)

Will I do something out of this idleness? I hope so. Let's see the next time I write here.

First posted on "http://thortz.blogspot.com/2006/06/still-bum.html

2006.06.28 Just a thought...

1. How much does it take to build and design a website?



2. Can I teach effectively?



3. Who else wants to protect our environment?



4. Is it irrational to want to serve in the government?



5. Do you have some thoughts to share?

2005.12.12 Pagtakas

Sa isang tuyong paligid
Sa gitna ng lungsod
Mabilis ang bawat hakbang
Natataranta ang bawat gunita

Nawawala...

Naliligaw...

Naghahanap ng landas
Na maluwag na tatahakin ng diwa

Sa gitna ng kawalan
Ninanais tumakas...

Patungo...

Sa Sunken Garden
Nakaluklok sa lawak ng paaralang
Tinuring na tahanan

Uupo sa latag ng malamig at berdeng damo
Napapaligiran ng malalaking puno

Mamasdan ang mga taong dumadaan
Titingala sa kapayapaan ng langit
Habang humahaplos ang
Lamyos ng sariwang hangin

Hihinga ng maluwag
Pipikit at sa mukha'y
Makikita ang pagngiti ng damdamin

O di naman kaya'y...

Sa tabi ng dagat
Sa bayang
Kumupkop sa aking pagkabata

Babaybayin ang tubig-dagat
Habang dumadampi
Sa kislap ng buhangin

Titigil sa isang may lilim na lugar
Pagmamasdan ang kinang ng dagat
Sa saliw ng awit ng alon
Na sinusuyo ang pusong lumbay

Magbibigay liwanag ang sinag ng araw
Yayakap ang lamig ng hangin
At mabibigyang buhay sa diwang sabik

2005.07.26 Choice

Today's another day to live my life. In an upbeat mood or a down state of being, that's my choice. Sometimes it seems I am just meant to live the day doing nothing, watching TV lazily, sitting in front of the computer, and being a bum.

Yet, I have a choice. This world offers numerous adventures and exciting moments - playing with the children, watching raindrops fall on the ground, putting order in our cluttered homes and lives, joining an NGO, and many more.

You have a choice, too. Indeed, many options to choose from. Live like a bum, live selfishly, or live for a cause. =)

The Wanderer's Life

Eighteen posts after this are entries I have made in my Friendster blog at http:/thortz.blogs.friendster.com/kate, which has been probably deleted by now. These posts, 18 posts out of the original 22 cover the date from July 26, 2005 to May 25, 2007.

From now on, anything I have to write about career, job, work, unemployment, stress, dreams, direction, goals, ambition, and ideals will be posted here in The Wanderer's Life at http://the-wanderers-life.blogspot.com/.